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Re: admiting to stalking u T pegasus

Posted by lonelygirl on March 19, 2004, at 2:36:33

In reply to Re: admiting to stalking u T, posted by pegasus on March 15, 2004, at 13:34:21

Ooooh... Thanks for admitting this :) My turn:

1. I, too, Google. Who doesn't? Unfortunately, there's not much out there about him. I also did google-research into things like the college where he got his undergraduate degree.

2. I have found his address and phone number. He lives in an apartment, and I drove past the complex ONCE. I didn't even stop or try to figure out which was his. Just drove past. I have been very tempted to call his home during the day (while he is at work), but I am worried that he could have caller ID, so I have managed to restrain myself from calling.

3. He got his Ph.D. at my school. Doctoral theses are available in the campus library. I looked his up.

4. I noticed a journal of which there are many issues on his desk and bookshelf, which leads me to believe that he subscribes. I have looked up the e-journal online. It's pretty boring, though :)

I think that a "real" stalker works differently... I would never do anything where I could really get caught doing something wrong -- like following him around. I think "real" stalkers, though, do not have a sense of what is and isn't appropriate, and they are not ashamed to be seen following the victim around, calling his home, etc.

I do not think there is anything wrong with 1, 3, or 4. These things are not illegal, not really private, and readily available to the public. 2, yes, I am ashamed that I drove past his apartment; I shouldn't have done it, and I won't do it again. I have done some reading on stalking, and there is not much in the way of advice for the stalker, but a lot on the victims. I have read that therapists are at high risk to be stalking victims, and I have read about how horrible it is for them to go through that. Reading about it from the victim's perspective made me feel really awful about just driving past his apartment, especially because I like him so much and the LAST thing I would ever want to do is hurt him in any way or make him uncomfortable.


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