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{{hysterical screams}} Well, I would IF-- » terrics

Posted by Racer on March 9, 2004, at 23:51:57

In reply to Re: Males on psychobabble psychology » Racer, posted by terrics on March 9, 2004, at 20:36:47

Well, terrics, I would explain to my pdoc that he's not listening to me if he'd return calls, or allow the subject to come up in his office, or respond to the letter I sent him telling him I was having trouble getting this stuff across to him... If it weren't so serious, I'd be laughing about it, but dang it! it is serious! This is my life we're talking about, whether he cares or not.

It doesn't help that I've been getting so fed up by the whole boondoggle that I've been losing my temper easily, and not thinking ahead much. For example, I'm so stressed it's triggered a shingles outbreak. I called to leave a message for the pdoc, 'reminding' him that, while physical dependancy on xanax is not medically significant, abrupt withdrawal of the drug does tend to have unpleasant consequences for the patient. I included in the message that I wasn't able to sleep, and that I was breaking out in shingles from the stress and hoped he'd prescribe whatever flavor of anti-viral was favored these days. Then, last night, I started getting a burning sensation on one lower eyelid, which got worse and worse and is now swollen and red and burning. So, miraculously, the office clerk returned my call! She called today, saying that she had spoken to the doctor and he suggested I see a doctor about my shingles, because he couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't his area of practice. (Mind you, I've told him repeatedly that I don't have access to any other health care.) While she was on the telephone, I didn't think about the eye thing, nor about the fact that I can't make my next appointment. So, now my choices are to call again, and reinforce their idea of me as calling too frequently, whining, generally making trouble, or worrying about the burning eye and how to arrange to be in two places at once. The eye makes me worried, because I'm afraid it's a side effect of stopping all my meds. I'm also afraid that if I do call, and say, "Gee, I think this might be what you warned me about with the Lamictal..." he'll just tell me to see a dermatologist. When I asked him about The Rash, he said, "Well, if you do start to feel something, get to a dermatologist right away." So easy for him to say, and thus absolve himself of all responsibility -- even though he prescribed the damn drug in the first place.

Anyway, I'm pretty obviously overwrought right now. Still not sleeping, after more than a week. Nightmares that could stop traffic, etc. I'm sorry for just going off at the slightest provocation.

Meanwhile, thank you so much for your post. It seems so silly, but it does help to have you say, in words, that you'll listen. You don't even have to promise to hear me, just to try. That's really all I ask. Thank you.


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