Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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yeah, BUT

Posted by shortelise on February 17, 2004, at 1:56:43

In reply to Been there myself, done that myself... fallsfall, posted by Racer on February 17, 2004, at 0:58:08

did he vacuum?

My husband just naturally began to change as I shared the stuff I was learning in therapy, and as I changed my behavior toward him. And especially as he saw me changing. He's sees therapist now too, though, to deal with the things that have come up for him.

Would it be simpler to let him think that it's all about you? I mean, does it matter what his motivation is, as long as he moves in a direction that's healthy for your marriage, and, I suppose, for him? It's not a lack of transparency. It's accepting that he needs a different motivation to change than you do, perhaps.

I don't know the answer to chores. My husband's more consistent than I am, though I don't think it's in the masculine DNA to comprehend what constitutes a clean toilet. My little theory about that is that man has evolved with an ability to do things around the house just badly enough that he's never again asked to do that particular job. I practised this masculine habit as a child, but it seems that it's considered a curable ill in a girl child. I was cured.

Hope this doesn't seem like nonsense.

ShortE


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:shortelise thread:314160
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/314463.html