Posted by Racer on February 16, 2004, at 1:04:51
In reply to Re: Shame - is my therapist perpetuating it?, posted by DaisyM on February 15, 2004, at 23:53:28
That's sort of what I was trying to convey above. There are times and places when certain activities are perfectly OK, but those same activities are not OK in others. Like teeth flossing, you do certain things in private.
Just as you don't want to see your CEO applying nail polish at her (his?!?!) desk, you also don't really want to know that she's having an affair, gambling compulsively, purging after every meal, etc. It's not because those things are Not OK -- it's because we want to be able to see a Leader.
OK, maybe my sleeping pills have kicked in, but try putting someone else in your place a little: if the guy who delivers mail in your office were to come to you to talk about the weird fantasies he has about covering himself in Crisco and Saran Wrap and running through the next board meeting, wouldn't you back away from him? But I'll bet he'd get a good laugh out of his roommates with the same idea.
Just like you don't walk through the bad neighborhoods alone at night, just like you don't open the door at night to a stranger wanting to come in and use the telephone, you don't have to let EVERYONE in to your self. You can pick and choose.
Here's another germ of an idea: don't think of it as hiding a part of yourself. Think of it as allowing special people into the special place that is All Of You.
(There's a short story, by Edith Wharton, called The Fullness Of Life that you might check out. It's rather tragic, in a way, but also so hopeful.)
poster:Racer
thread:313588
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/313904.html