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Re: Validation pegasus

Posted by Rigby on February 13, 2004, at 10:22:43

In reply to Re: Validation, posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 23:47:25

Do you ask directly for validation? I never ask directly for her approval. I did my usual in the beginning: roped my therapist in through seduction and messed with her head. But then I felt uncomfortable afterwards--I felt bad for her. So we chose another route with better boundaries but I feel I do not get any validation from her. But I don't ask for it. I never would. And given how much validation I get in my life it'd almost feel dumb to ask for it. But the need remains.
> Yeah, I feel that too. I want my T to validate everything, all the time. But sometimes he doesn't, and it feels *terrible*. And even on the days where he validates validates validates, I feel like it's not enough, or I don't believe him, or etc.

Yeah, the heart of it is here probably. I know, it feels like we're destined to be plagued by self-doubt, no matter how many compliments are racked up, eh???
> I think it's because I was so thoroughly not validated as a kid. So, I've developed this view of myself as not valid. Which leads one to crave approval from everyone, at the same time that I don't believe a word of it. Sigh. There is no winning this game.




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