Posted by crushedout on February 5, 2004, at 21:22:11
In reply to Re: I just realized something » crushedout, posted by Karen_kay on February 5, 2004, at 21:12:21
Yeah, I totally agree with everything you said (except maybe the supervision part, where I only sort of agree), Karen, and you're making perfect sense. And that's just the thing: I have no idea why I feel so down right now. I think it may have nothing to do with what she said. I think it may just be chemical. (I lowered my meds *very slightly* a couple weeks ago -- I'm wondering if that could be it, but I don't want to get redirected to the med board).
I wish I could let this sink in and I could be happy about it. It's really what I've always wanted to hear, and haven't dared to ask. Part of the problem is I can't imagine there's another one like her out there. It's part of being in love. I have eyes for NO ONE else. And I mean no one. Not even imaginary people. Okay, maybe Ellen Degeneres, but only slightly. She's not therapist-y enough. So, I feel pretty depressed, I suppose, that she and I can never be lovers. It's devastating, really. I can't even accept it, it's so devastating. I keep trying to think of ways that we can.
> I think your therapist is very similar to mine. Filling the need rather than examining why the need is there. Sure, they may think they know why the need is there, but I think (and I may be wrong in your case, so excuse me) they are quick to fill the need. But, it sure does feel GRAND, doesn't it? At least it does for me. Why are you feeling depressed now knowing that your therapist does find you attractive, and has at times wanted to take care of you? I'm rather confused on that matter. Forgive me, but I'm a bit out of sorts right now. If this post confuses you as much as it's confusing me, please just disregard it.
>
> But, try to at least take comfort in the knowledge that your therapist does have wonderful thoughts about you. Keep in mind the boundaries, of course, but fantasies are always wonderful. What I always remember is, "Well, if a wonderful man like Bubba could fall into my trap, there's always another one similar to him out there... He can't be the only perfect one out there....." It's a big self esteem boost. Try to remember, if a caring, beautiful woman like your therapist, who also knows your "secrets" could possibly think you're wonderful, then there's a boat load of other wonderful, caring people out there for you to choose from as well.... That's how I try to frame it at least...
>
> As for Dinah's supervision take... I'll stsay out of that mess. The mere hint of a supervisor taking a look at anything scares the life out of me. Supervision, to me, suggests something's gone wrong. And when something's gone wrong, I just plain don't like it! I would never suggest any type of "outsider" step in, as I don't like anyone knowing my secrets or anyone getting involved who doesn't have to be. No Way! That jsut gives someone a chance to say, "Maybe you should terminate." Nuh, Uh! But, Dinah is always very helpful :) I'm just stubborn :)
poster:crushedout
thread:309823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309993.html