Posted by QuietHeart on January 18, 2004, at 22:56:47
Hi everyone,
I am new here (female, age 27, graduate student) -- and I found this site out of desperation. I don't intend anyone to diagnose me per se but I just need some support and answers. I feel so guilty and confused.I've been depressed for a few months now and recently began therapy. I am not familiar with depression jargon so bear with me. I have always had a kind of rocky relationship with my mom (actually step-mom, but not important, she raised me and I think of her as mom) and we just don't get along when we live under one roof (I am in grad school and living at home).
Well, today, I just had a breakdown, for lack of a better word. I cried and cried and cried all day without stopping and could barely move. Needless to say, my parents were somewhat weirded out by this uncontrollable show of emotion. I then tried to speak candidly with my mom about what has been bothering me. I was somewhat harsh, telling her what a bad mother she has been to me, bringing up episodes from the past, etc. I genuinely think she has been mean. We have real difficulty living under one roof but things usually get better when we're apart and I am moving soon. I just CAN'T seem to accept that things are this bad when we live together though my parents are very matter of fact about it and say it happens in every family. In any case, I ended up feeling SO guilty because my parents were so supportive and told me they really think I am burned out from grad school, etc. and I have no friends (which is true) and they think I am taking it out on them.
I now feel more eased in terms of my relationship with my mom since we talked today, but feel weird that I spent my last 2 sessions complaining to my therapist about it. I mean, do I just tell her I no longer have probs with my mom? I know they might resurface in some way but I am so unsure of everything and scared that I couldn't control my crying, etc.
Please help.
poster:QuietHeart
thread:302511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/302511.html