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Re: talking about traumas in therapy.. Pfinstegg

Posted by Karen_kay on January 8, 2004, at 19:11:37

In reply to Re: talking about traumas in therapy.. Karen_kay, posted by Pfinstegg on January 8, 2004, at 18:10:32

I have to agree with what you said. I think that just thinking about the dream and forgiveness causes my anxiety (in the form of fear) to skyrocket! And I almost retreat back to that scared little girl. But, I'm a *very* rational person and just don't want to beieve this psycho-babble mumbo jumbo (and please don't be offended by this, because I KNOW for a fact it's true that threrapy works I just wish that I didn't need it :(. I just want to subscribe to the notion of "Suck it up and go on with your life" you know? I'm not a little girl, I'm an adult. But, I know that this won't work. It worked for a while, but it just isn't working anymore.

And it just isn't fair that we're the ones left feeling ashamed. I keep telling my therapist that this is hard to talk about because I feel ashamed and dirty. And I know that he's trying to correct my thinking by telling me that I didn't do anything wrong, but one time he asked me why I didn't leave. And it just made me feel worse. Like I don't ask myself that anyway.

I am really continually questioning my relationship with my therapist. Maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind to do so. Maybe it is the perfect time. I think I'll start a new post and get some input from other posters. It's just that I really don't trust him a lot of the time, but I KNOW I have a real problem trusting people anyway. I have put in almost a year with him, so I don't want to give that up. And I'll talk with him and see what he says, but when I've talked in the past (not seriously though) he's always just said "Well, that's your decision." I'm just really not feeling well right now. I'm really feeling lost and scared and confused. It'd be nice if I had a good therapist to talk to right now.....

I too wish everyone here the best.... It's nice to have people to reach out to. And I'm glad that you're feeling well enough to post again. I'm happy that your therapy is going well (of sorts). It's hard. A lot more than I ever bargained for! I thought I was looking at a month or two for anxiety.
It's a slow process. Wish I had a magic wand to wave over your head, everyone else as well, and make everyone "all better." Guess we'll have to take our chances with therapy?




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poster:Karen_kay thread:294726