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Re: Why my therapist is mad at me - this time

Posted by LostGirl on January 7, 2004, at 19:06:49

In reply to Re: Why my therapist is mad at me - this time Dinah, posted by Poet on January 7, 2004, at 9:05:49

From what I've read about counter-transference, therapists are supposed to tune in to how clients make them feel, not just to monitor themselves, but because it informs them. If a client makes them feel a certain way - bored, angry, aroused, whatever, the client is probably having the same affect on other people. That is something a skilled therapist can use in a helpful way, with tact, and carefully chosen words, and feedback that directs the person to their actions and the reactions it causes. But something like agreeing he finds you annoying is to me in no way helpful, tactful or professional. That is hurtful and destructive. The new Yalom book (I can't think of the name, if you want it I'll look for it) talks a lot about this and how he has used what feelings people elicit in him to give helpful feedback in a kind way.




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