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Re: Why my therapist is mad at me - this time Dinah

Posted by Penny on January 7, 2004, at 8:15:24

In reply to Why my therapist is mad at me - this time, posted by Dinah on January 6, 2004, at 22:42:39

Oh Dinah - I'm sorry you're feeling so low. It probably won't help, but I'm not mad at you! In fact, you're one of my favorite people!

Can you try (and I KNOW this is hard) to not let others' negative actions/feelings toward you influence YOUR feelings toward yourself?

Say "To h**l with them. Let them get mad at me. It's not a reflection of ME, it's a reflection of THEM, and I am NOT responsible for their feelings."

That would be the key, I think - you are NOT responsible for THEIR feelings.

I know how you feel - really, I do. I am so afraid of people getting mad at me that I avoid confrontation at all costs. And that's unhealthy. And, yes, sometimes people get mad at me anyway. My boss is one of them. I don't have a husband, but I'm sure my husband would as well.

I think you should tell your therapist in your next session that even if HE doesn't think he gets angry with you a lot, YOU feel like he does, and how you feel is what matters in this situation!

Summon the anger. But don't direct it at yourself!

Let us know how you are doing today.

P


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poster:Penny thread:297437
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040102/msgs/297544.html