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Posted by Lyrical13 on January 6, 2004, at 20:36:48

In reply to Re: Therapist Orientation? CBT or psychodynamic?, posted by ocdforyears on January 6, 2004, at 10:44:32

I agree with Matt...I've never had experience with Freudian type therapy or know anyone who has and I've been in counseling for 13 years off and on with many different counselors. I think there's both cognition and feelings involved. I also think that mood disorders are caused by a combination of things-genetics to be sure but also our experiences (that whole nature AND nurture thing) I also think that our brains/bodies have an emotional memory...something we're probably not even aware of. What I mean is, sometimes I find myself feeling sad or anxious and I'm not even aware of why..esp if it's at a time of year where I'm usually not going through puzzles me for a bit because things seem to be going well at the time..but when I really stop and think, I realize that this time last year or the year before I was going through a very difficult situation and when I really examine it, I realize that I am still hurt or angry about that and approaching that anniversary affected my subconscious....I wasn't actively thinking about it but in the back of my mind, I was remembering "this was the time when this and such happened that really hurt me"

I don't think dwelling on past neg experiences is productive, but at the same time, I feel like the more I understand of my history and what happened to me or what choices I made that were detrimental, the more I understand my feelings and the more I'm able to heal.

Just recently...about a month ago...I figured out a puzzle that goes back 20 when I was 13 or 14 years old. I couldn't figure out why I had such a strong attachment to my cats.. even though they started marking my carpet and were ruining our house...why couldn't I let go of them...find them a new home or take them to the shelter? I mean, I know they are part of our family and have helped me through a rough time, but why was this such an incredibly emotional thing for me..I was really worked up about it. NOw this is the time of year when I usually have trouble but I was worked up more than usual and not just about the cats. One morning it hit me... I was 13 or 14 when a very traumatic thing happened to me...something that caused me to dissociate...and my mom was there for me briefly but then got a phone call from my step-dad and abandoned me. They were separated at the time and he had just been drunk and at our house and I thought he was beating her up...that's when I suddenly found myself at the edge of the living room...not remembering how I got there and was up on the ceiling looking at this young girl in her nightshirt and hearing this shrill voice yelling "leave my mom alone!" realized after a little bit that the voice was coming from me... Anyway, after he left, my mom and I were crying and hugging and the phone rang. She answered it and talked to that &*^%$ for an hour and a half. The only one there for me was the cat. I went in on the bed and hugged my cat and cried and cried. the other part of that is that my little sister is now 14 and has started having problems with depression or bipolar...same age...AND I was upset one time and thought for a split second about calling and talking to her...we've shared a lot about our experiences...but then I thought "I can't do that. That's a lot to dump on a 14 yr old kid." Then I REALLY started to cry because that's exactly what happened to me....when I was 14 was when my mom started really dumping all her adult problems on me...I feel like I've been her romance counselor since I was 14 yrs old. I had already figured out parts of that years ago.. the mom counseling bit, the dissociation bit etc. but the 14 and the cat hit me all of a sudden just recently and it all fit.

Anyway, this post is much longer than I intended. Sorry for getting off on such a tangent...again....

Oh, but one more thing I wanted to mention that is really relevant to the whole type of tx discussion is many of you focus on analyzing family systems...dysfunction and your role in in addiction rehab they talk about different roles people play in the family. The hero, scapegoat, lost child, etc. Also about birth order and roles we take in our family and characteristics we have based on birth order. Anyone look at that when analyzing stuff in tx?





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poster:Lyrical13 thread:293462