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Boundaries vs Indifference

Posted by Kalamatianos on January 6, 2004, at 5:04:01

Practically speaking, for adults, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. I don't make up this stuff. Perhaps I have been visited by space aliens.

Nevertheless, read what I have read and study what I have studied and what I say about indifference holds true. Also, I was clear in my earlier post that the indifference would be suffered by the clients being treated, not actually the feelings of the T. So from the eyes of the beholders, they may feel like their T is aloof, cold, discompassionate, and apathetic, no matter whether the T is or not. Boundaries don't have to evoke indifference even if the T would be better off that way with clients legally.

OBTW, children really don't get things right. To a child the opposite of love is hate, but children are obligated to their dependency objects and thus can only traffic in approval. Love = caring without obligation. Unfortunately we have tooooo many meanings for the word love in English.

But, czek it out. Children can care for a person or hate a person. They can't handle the complexities of options so its always either/or to a child. In contrast, adults get into trouble living strictly by either/or standards. Childhood is "rules based". Adulthood is "options based".

Life is complicated and adults are wired to handle the complexities, whereas children aren't. So adults who act like children because everyone forget to tell them that adulthood was different than childhood, have messy inefficient lives full of strife.

Know anybody like that? I do. I was.

Also, when I discovered what it really meant to be an adult, I instantly knew I never wanted to be a child again. For instance, being able to conceptualize in 3 dimensions with true perspective and in full color is something I would miss as a child. 100 years ago, Piaget discovered this ability lacking in his children. Recently, neuro-scientists have identified the details of why this is.

I was 41 before I discovered this truth. Today I never look back fondly toward childhood.




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