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Re: I'm in the mood to SI simple because your near me » Elle2021

Posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 12:40:46

In reply to I'm in the mood to SI simple because your near me, posted by Elle2021 on January 4, 2004, at 1:13:59

It used to simply be my mother (HA! I said it!). That's where I learned it. Not from her, but as a child she was so domineering that I couldn't talk back so that was all that I had to let it out. But I moved away for college and she moved VERY far away. And I only see her a few times a year. So now when she upsets me, I simply walk away. But only because I see her maybe 5 times a year. And speak to her maybe 10 times a year on the telephone. I love her dearly, but that's all I can handle. If I spoke to her more, I'd hurt myself. So I speak infrequently and it stays pleasant and wonderful! Luckily she is rather cold and distant, so she doesn't seem to notice :)
Is that a possibility for your situation? To see this person at an acceptable level, rather as often as you can handle? Since I see my mother no longer than 4 days (after 4 I begin to get the urge!!!) I enjoy it...seeing her less often that is..
See people on the terms where it is enjoyable for you. If you don't enjoy his company, then why bother? Honestly, is it worth it? You shouldn't feel bad for not putting yourself through he** . If this person is a relative, find the "acceptable level" tha amount of time you can spend with this person before he really starts to get on your nerves. If it happens to be just 10 minutes, then meet for lunch somewhere. Explain that's all the time you have right now. Try to enjoy the meal. Order a beer if that helps :) Have a friend call half way through just in case it gets rough so you can have an excuse to get back to work, pick a friend up from the airport, ect...You don't have to leave if it is working out, but it's nice to have a back up if you need one... I'm just saying you can limit your time and don't feel guilty. Life is about YOU, not accomidating others, especially insisitve people who obviously don't understand what you are going through. Trust me.. I know. I hear it all the time. Good luck hun.. The excuses work too!!!


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poster:Karen_kay thread:296222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040102/msgs/296353.html