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Re: When to End Therapy? Dx. PTSD naiad

Posted by fallsfall on January 3, 2004, at 8:27:56

In reply to Re: When to End Therapy? Dx. PTSD fallsfall, posted by naiad on January 3, 2004, at 4:53:09

How do I describe dependent?

My life revolved around therapy. It was the most important activity in my week. I would cancel ANYTHING for therapy (including things like going to a kid's school play...). I thought about my therapist all the time. Every decision I made, I would think whether she would approve. Major decisions would be run by her before they were finalized.

Her vacations were hell. For a majority of the 8 1/2 years I was with her I scheduled backup appointments (either with her backup person, or with a therapist that I had had for group therapy) during her vacations (and she never took more than 1 week at a time), just to make it through her vacation.

I knew what her car looked like, and her license plate, so when I drove down the street I looked for her. She was dropping a kid off to play in my neighborhood one day, she went to my bank, I saw her out for lunch just before my appointment one day.

I was sure that if she ever kicked me out that I would collapse into a puddle. I would NEVER leave her (although, in the end I did). She was the only person who could ever understand me. Everything she did was right - her wisdom was complete.

My life revolved around doing things that she would approve of.

I am still dependent on my new therapist, but not as much as the old one. My new one tries really hard to be a little distant. His armor cracks occasionally so I know that he is a real person and that he does care about me, but most of the time he is a bit "blank slate". He gets much less involved with my day to day life than she did, so I have to deal with more of that on my own.

I think that a certain amount of dependence is good. I think that I'm excessive.

 

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