Posted by fallsfall on December 18, 2003, at 7:39:48
In reply to Ready to Throw in the Towel, posted by tabitha on December 17, 2003, at 23:18:21
Tabitha,
(I'm a bit stressed, so please try to read this as a tactful and supportive response, even if it doesn't quite come across that way...)
Group can be hard. I know what you mean about spending all your time changing when you just want to be you. I think that they are not looking for you to be different inside - they are just looking for you to be more transparent, so that they can see who the you IS inside. It is a difference in *behavior* rather than a difference in your essence?
Have you told the one who doesn't like you how you see HER behavior? Does anyone in the group agree with you? (I know, doesn't sound like a fun topic at all - but it might be helpful)
Have you been with the same therapist for the whole 10 years? If you have, it might be appropriate to ask for a consultation. Spending a session or two with a different therapist to assess where you are and where you are going and how you are getting there. Sometimes a new opinion can be helpful to both you and your therapist.
I'm hoping you can stick it out. I think that you have learned some valuable things so far.
That said, I must tell you that I was in a group 8 years ago - but I only stayed 6 months. The group was very confrontational and the therapist didn't say more than 10 words a session. I was not strong enough to survive in that environment. I went to a DBT group for 6 months, and that was helpful. Then I joined another group for 1 1/2 years (?) - this second group was overly passive. So it was easy to go there, but we didn't necessarily accomplish a lot. I left the second group because it was on the same night as Ice Skating, and I wanted to skate more... I guess I'm trying to say that there are reasons that maybe only you would understand for leaving a group. You just don't want to leave because you are wanting to avoid facing the issues you want/need to work on.
Good luck
poster:fallsfall
thread:291162
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/291220.html