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Re: I'm creepy.. Help!! » Karen_kay

Posted by Penny on November 24, 2003, at 15:53:47

In reply to I'm creepy.. Help!!, posted by Karen_kay on November 24, 2003, at 15:30:25

I found out, sort of by accident, where my former T lived, and then rode by there. In fact, whenever I was shopping in her part of town, I always half-feared, half-hoped I would run into her. I never did. I found her hubby's pic on the internet too, on his company's web site. I was so distressed about the whole thing that I 'fessed up, and she wasn't full-out angry at me, but she wasn't happy either. I never did tell her that I drove by her house, though I wanted to. I'm glad now that I didn't, b/c it probably would have freaked her out even more.

However, what I know now is that she wasn't very internet-savvy. It's so easy to find personal info on the web, if you know where to look (for example, did you know that you can look up the address and home value of any homeowner in Charlotte, NC on the web??? It's on the Char/Meck tax website, and I stumbled upon it by accident, which is how I found my former T's address.).

My T did tell me, though, that I wasn't the first person who had discovered her address. And her being all secretive about it made it that much more tempting for me anyway. My current T isn't all that secretive. I haven't told her outright that I know where she lives, but, of course, I've 'googled' her, and I have her home phone number too, which she gave to me. My pdoc told me where he lives and gave me his home phone. But, guess what? I haven't had the urge to drive by either of their homes. Why? Because they haven't been so doggone secretive.

Anyway, my point is, I would be willing to bet that you're not the first patient of his to google him. Nor are you the first patient to find out where he lives (I'm assuming that he's been in the business long enough to have had a few patients). So, no, you're not creepy. You're curious. Of course...why wouldn't you be? You are opening your life up to this person, yet you don't know much about him. Why wouldn't you try to find out, especially if you are internet-savvy?

As for telling him...you'll have to play that one by ear. I'm not sure I would tell my former T if I had it to do over again. My current T? Sure. I don't think she cares if I know. I mean, if she did, she wouldn't have given me her home phone number, would she? But my former T wasn't as aware of what you can find on the internet, I don't think. So she wasn't really prepared. Though it made it better that she'd been treating me for 2 years at the time so she knew I wasn't truly crazy (well, I suppose that's debatable!) and I wasn't going to turn up on her doorstep or something or harass her family. But the whole thing caused me a great deal of heartache, b/c I felt like she was really angry with me (she was somewhat angry, I think, but not *really* angry), and I kept apologizing to her and she would say, "I'll get over it," but I think after that she never looked at me in quite the same light. I felt like I had invaded her privacy. Even though the info was public - it was on the web for anyone to see.

Just my experience. Don't feel bad for finding the info, but you'll have to follow your gut on how cool he is about you knowing personal stuff about him. How long have you been seeing him?

P


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poster:Penny thread:283277
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