Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Hard, but good session (long)

Posted by Poet on November 21, 2003, at 10:23:02

I did a major binge and purge. Not only did I feel emotionally worse, I burst some blood vessels around my eyes. I had little pin prick red dots that I globbed makeup over. They went away in a few days, but it scared me.

I opened up to my therapist that I was afraid to tell her about what happened because she'll abandon me. She told me she won't ever abandon me because she cares about me. We'd work it out if I can't get back in control again.

She said bulimia,like other addictions, is a circle of doors. I got through them without help, but now I opened the wrong one which caused my relapse. I am strong for being able to get through those doors and I will be able to do it again.

I told her that I used to do it for emotional release, now I do it to punish myself. We got into my childhood emotional neglect and trauma. I said I deserved it, she said she felt what I said in her heart. She was very reassuring and comforting. I got the support I needed. I'm not mad at her anymore, of course, I never told her I was.

I saw my doctor yesterday,too,she increased my Paxil, so hopefully that will give me the boost I need to stay in control.

Next week I see my therapist on Wednesday because of Thanksgiving. I said "you mean you're not coming over for dinner?" I'm not sure I was kidding. :-)

Sorry for the length of this post, I just got a lot out yesterday and it feels good to talk about it.





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