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the blame game (kinda long)

Posted by thewriteone on November 18, 2003, at 20:35:17

Last week I had a really bad session with my therapist. It turned out that it was just a miscommunication. She said something that I took really bad and I couldn't remember anything she said either before of after. It upset me so that I couldn't even talk to her. Feeling what I was feeling was the most I could do, so mostly I just sat there and cried. I left the session feeling angry with her.
I was in that space for nearly a week, then one morning I woke up and was actually able to remember some other things she had said leading up to what hurt me so much, and also some things she said afterward. It made more sense to me. I realize I'm being very vague, but I'm just not up to going into details about that part now.
During my session this week I did talk to her about all this stuff, but the one thing she said to me that hurt was, "Oh, that was last week? I thought that was a couple weeks ago." I just thought, great and this has been one of the longest weeks of my life.
I was hurt because she didn't seem to acknowledge how distraught I was. I did tell her that at the end of the session, but immediately felt terrible. I guess in my mind, I can't say "that hurt me" without feeling like I'm pointing the finger at someone. It comes out, "You're a bad person because you hurt me" in my head. I end up not saying what I want to say a lot of the time because I feel like I'm blaming someone else for the way I feel. Anyone else have this problem or have any suggestions on overcoming it?




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