Posted by DaisyM on October 11, 2003, at 21:44:32
In reply to Re: Histories » DaisyM, posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2003, at 17:10:14
Thank you for sharing the story of your daughter...what a great lesson to learn early. I guess I never recognized my underlying motivation for perfection. I just assumed it was (is?!) "who I am." Now, I don't know how to undo everyone's expectations that I will "handle it all" even though I really don't want to anymore. My family is interesting because they say "let it go or ask for help" but if they perceive any weakness in coping, they offer advice like, "don't worry so much" or "don't work so hard"...this would be my parents/bro/sis/hubby...
So, I NEVER ask for help (it is a therapy goal)and I don't ask for emotional support (ok, I'm starting to depend on my Therapist, which scares the hell out of me). I even hold my best friends away slightly. I guess this is why I suffer from such a deep seated loneliness.
So I can't answer the quesion, "how do we feel good about ourselves?" I use to think I did...self-esteem had never been a problem.(I was perfect, remember?) Now I don't know...is it possible to fake self-esteem too?
More questions than answers right now. Thanks though for the discussion.
poster:DaisyM
thread:267590
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/268484.html