Posted by kitkat33 on October 10, 2003, at 15:42:51
Hi,
This is the first place I have seen information on transference. I have a question. I have been having alot of problems with my therapist. I kind of melted down to her awhile back, I lost my job etc, had some strong "can't take it anymore" feelings and was trying to reach out for help, I ended up calling one of those anonymous phone numbers. I have some issues right now. I felt she came back with blaming me for her lack of response. To make a long story short, I called her in a crisis, and she didn't call me back. I tried to talk to her after this, since, I felt like she didn't really care about my life. She stated she didn't respond right away, because when I first started going to her I responded badly to her when she had hung up on me when I was changing an appointment, another client walked in and she said "I have to go" and hung up. I tried to talk to her at the time and she at that point threw it back on me too. She keeps saying it's transference. Recently, she gave me her email address(which I thought was really nice), so I tried emailing her. I called and left her a message that I was sending her an email about what was going on. I thought it was a good way to express my feelings of despair since I basically had noone to talk to without taking up her time and bothering her. She is really busy and booked fully. A week later at my next appointment, she stated she didn't read the email and besides, I had said it was not that important. I got mad and she said that it was transference, that I had no right to be upset. I felt even more like I am the bottom of the client barrel. All I was looking for was an apology. Is this transference, she says I am treating her like my mother treated me, that it's all transference, and I say to her, If I can't call her in a crisis what am doing anyway. I don't see it at all and when I try to talk to her, she says I am invalidating her. Anyone had this experience. Now mind you I am a difficult client, very insecure, ptsd, etc, but I feel she has some part in this relationship too. I feel like she's invalidating me, not the way she sees it at all.
Totally confused!
poster:kitkat33
thread:267948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/267948.html