Posted by Adia on September 29, 2003, at 21:05:08
In reply to The Mack Truck that ran me over..., posted by fallsfall on September 29, 2003, at 20:04:32
Dear Fallsfall,
You are working so very hard! You should be proud of yourself...
It must be really painful and draining to process the feelings about your old therapist...
I am glad you have a good therapist to guide you through this...
Take gentle care of yourself...
I am sending you all my support....
you are being so brave and working so hard!
Adia.
> had my therapist's name on it.
>
> He is working me so hard. Today we were talking about my old therapist - about how she was so wonderful and met my needs, about how I am so angry that she didn't do as good a job as I think she should have.
>
> I split. With people who are important to me, they are either all good or all bad. I can't see them as having both good and bad qualities. This is a cornerstone of Borderline Personality Disorder. It also really gets in the way of a lot of things.
>
> He kept switching between talking about her meeting my needs and being angry at her. Then he said something to me. I thought about it a little, but I really didn't know what I was thinking about. He asked what I was thinking and I told him that what he had just said was very threatening, but that I didn't know what he had just said (can you say "resistance"?). Then he asked if I knew the saying "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" (Don't bite = anger, feeding = meeting needs). After the session I figured out that the statement that I couldn't hear must have been intended to merge the good and the bad.
>
> I went down to the river and watched the loons and Great Blue Heron fishing for an hour. Then I got ice cream. I still had to eat candy to be able to drive home. Then I took a nap.
>
> He is really good. He works me very hard. But he seems (so far) to push me to my limit, but not over it (i.e. I'm not suicidal...).
>
> I just have to sit with it until I can "process" it. It doesn't really make sense that it takes so much out of me - we're just talking. So if I don't say much, this is why.
poster:Adia
thread:264324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/264342.html