Posted by allisonf on August 13, 2003, at 20:57:10
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile...been going thru some sort of rapid cycling/mixed episode. None of my meds are working (they never really have) and I want so desperately to go off all of them for good & clean my system of all this nonsense. I am 35 yrs old, physically healthy, but taking 1800 mgs/day of all different stuff--and that's on a good day.
Yesterday, my head was so full of noise I wrote 23 pages in my journal. I was so overcome with sadness, I sat in my car last night and cried for a few hours. When it was time to take my meds last night, I took a few extra pills, some Ambien I didn't need, and chased them with a big tumbler of liquor. I've never attempted suicide before...and last night wasn't an attempt. Just an attempt at attempting. Has anyone ever done that? I woke up today with a monster headache and I haven't felt right all day. Mostly feeling scared of myself.
So, see. The pills aren't working. Therp is still on vacation and I don't want to bother her (she deserves 2 weeks away from me). The on call has instructions to call her, so I don't want to go that route. Pdoc is on vacation too with no real back up. I know if I just wait until next week to talk to someone I'll have a better perspective on things.
I want to get off these meds, and I just want to feel better. Thanks for listening guys.
poster:allisonf
thread:250650
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/250650.html