Posted by mikhail99 on December 28, 2002, at 11:50:25
In reply to Therapist Is Causing Me Pain - Please Help!, posted by Emmie on December 27, 2002, at 1:32:53
> I don't know what it is about the doctors I'm seeing, but I wonder how can I feel so lost, alone and unsupported when these doctors are supposed to be there to help me with my depression?
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> I see two docs, a psychologist and a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist was referred by the psychologist so that he could prescribe my medications. I usually talk about my problems with both of them.
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> The psychologist: From the beginning, I've always felt a bit uneasy with her. Her face stays in one expression -- flat. No , no hint of a smile, or any indication that she is a pleasant person and willing to help you. An example of how harsh she seems, is that once when I was discussing some problems about my husband (married 18 years) and looking for some advice, she says, "Why don't you divorce him?"
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> Another thing she did (which hurt me to my heart and made me feel like a piece of throwaway trash) is this: The time was up for our session one day, and she interrupted a question I asked because she was rushing to find the next appointment schedule in her computer. She rushed me out of her office as I started to cry, because inside, I felt neglected. In the hallway next to her office, there is a chair and table. She did not try to console me one bit. She did not even acknowledge the fact that I was weeping. She just wanted to get to the next patient. She watched as I sat in that chair with my head in my hands -- and she left me there, crying.
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> Am I being unreasonable or do you understand where I'm coming from when I say I'm feeling neglected? It's as if the therapists are just sucking up the money for the appointment time, and they couldn't care less about my well-being. If you have had similar experiences, please share.
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> The psychiatrist hasn't been as bad as that, but he is starting to get that way. He looks off into the distance when I'm talking...as if he just saw something appear on the wall across from him...he will abruptly look away He will interrupt. He will ask me how much of my meds I'm taking, when he is the one who prescribed them in the first place. It's like he's needing me to remind him. Shouldn't he be familiar with details of my case before I walk into his office fo the appointment?? Sometimes I feel like I'm just talking to the air, because he gives me blank stares. And he is super-anxious to get me out the door when our time is up. I've learned to totally keep my mouth shut when he looks at his watch and starts to write down the next appoiintment date, because he is definitely not paying attention at that point.
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> If you have any feedback for me, please share. I need to hear from real people with real feelings, like those here at the Psycho-Babble site.
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> Should I be looking for new therapists?
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Emmie, I hope you don't feel as if you're being oversensitive because you're not. I can't for the life of me imagine a therapist who could ignore a crying client. She sounds like a heartless ass (sorry to those of you who would give her the benefit of the doubt). It's hard enough sometimes to get yourself to therapy and talk about stuff that goes on day to day but to have to do it with some stone-faced therapist, that's too much. I guess she could be trying to get you to confront her but whatever her methods are, they don't seem to be working, they seem to be pushing you towards insecurity and doubt and that doesn't seem very therapeutic at all.As for the shrink, I only see mine once every 3 months for medication management and we chat for maybe 10-15 minutes so I don't feel as if there is much of a connection there so I wouldn't feel too badly about your relationship with your shrink.
I'm just curious, do you have to go through your insurance to find a therapist? If that's the case and you feel she's that bad, it might be a good idea to let your insurance company know, they like to know about that sort of thing.
I think you have gotten some good advice here on how to deal with it but I ultimately think you have to decide if this relationship (and it is a relationship) is working for you. There are many, many good therapists out there, you just need to find one that is a good fit for you.
Please take care and good luck to you!
poster:mikhail99
thread:1958
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1968.html