Posted by syringachalet on November 21, 2002, at 9:01:56
In reply to Re: Definition-Eddie, posted by Miller on November 16, 2002, at 8:51:28
Hello Eddie and Miller,
I never consciencously played games in sharing how I really was with any of the shrinks I have ever had.
For me, in the beginning it was about control. I often felt that I had lost control of so much of my life at that point that this little bit of game playing was the only safe place I felt 'in control'. My paranoia lead me to believe that my shrink (and most everyone else) knew my thoughts and was judging me based on these thoughts. I guess this self-centered thinking was just one of my self-defense coping mechnisms I used to survive the Hell I was working through.
Fortunally now I have a female shrink that with medication and therapy has helped me help myself work through a great deal of my PTSD issues. Because of her acceptance of me as a person but not all my self-abusive behaviors, a trust has developed that I genienely believe that I can tell her whatever is on my mind..regardless how off the wall. As long as she knows that I would never act on those thoughts(her display of trust in me), then we can share and the game playing can be set aside 95% of the time.
My energy can be focused on my continued recovery. As I tell her, I might not always tell her what she might want to hear( and vice versa) but at least I always know(and so does she) where I stand with her...thats a major element in the trust file for me...My thoughts are with you both...
poster:syringachalet
thread:1513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1611.html