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Re: the issue to erode » Dr. Bob

Posted by Mark H. on July 10, 2002, at 11:41:48

In reply to Re: the issue to erode, posted by Dr. Bob on July 10, 2002, at 11:13:35

Dr. Bob,

That was not only bad English on my part, it also didn't convey what I meant. Let me try again.

The beliefs that are most profitable for me to work on using the techniques of cognitive/behavioral therapy are those that have a strong (usually negative) emotional charge for me.

For instance, I think my co-workers should maintain a high degree of professional integrity, the more so because we work for a non-profit organization that enjoys tax-exempt status and therefore is in the public trust.

In the past, I would become excessively agitated if someone I worked with did something that I believed to be unethical or improper. The strength of my negative feelings did not add value to the situation, help the employee or the organization.

Note that I'm talking about the strength of my negative feelings, NOT my right to believe (and enforce) that those I work with maintain high levels of integrity. That's the important difference that is clarified in cognitive therapy.

I still assure, whenever I can, that our organization behaves ethically and responsibly. I still raise ethical and moral considerations in meetings. I still influence decision-making and outcomes. However, as I work on my beliefs about and expectations of other people, my responses become less emotional and more effective.

"The issue to erode" doesn't do it at all. It is more a matter of discerning the difference between the substance of the belief and the emotional and cognitive responses I experience when that belief is violated by another.

I hope this helps make up for my poor choice of words. I'm a work-in-progress. :-)

Best wishes,

Mark H.


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poster:Mark H. thread:538
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020702/msgs/567.html