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Re: politics

Posted by alexandra_k on October 24, 2017, at 4:46:22

In reply to Re: politics, posted by alexandra_k on October 24, 2017, at 3:40:50

I don't care for where I live... Because I really just want a quiet place by myself.

I have been forced to live with others out of financial necessity for much of my life, and it never works out well for me.

I always end up withdrawing from the people I live with because I don't feel I get enough personal space. This results in them feeling slighted and they often decide that it is fun to antagonise me in the spirit of 'any attention is better than no attention at all'. On some instances it escalates to outright bullying.

Living in more crowded places like residential halls tends to reduce the bullying aspect because there are enough people around for everybody to get their social needs met.

Living in more crowded places like residential halls is a sort of a torture for me, however, because walls are plywood and you can hear people in neighbouring rooms coughing, f*rt*ng, chatting to their grandma etc.

Where I am is on the quieter side of residential halls... But the difference is made up by the intermediate school just outside my window where 10 and 11 year olds yip and squawk and scream and yell for most of every day. Then skateboards slamming into the evening etc.

I have dreams... Of a house on a section big enough to be surrounded by shady trees as a noise / visibility buffer from neighbouring sections. With one of those metal picket fences (that disuades climbing). With an auto gate so neighbours don't get a good look at me (so they don't decide to target me as someone who must be their friend or suffer their escalating noise - because any attention would be better than no attention).

It's a shame we don't do medium density construction properly such that there is a reasonable degree of soundproofing between internal walls - but we just won't / don't in this country - so I suppose someone will have to come and mow the lawns.

With a kitchen... With properly weighted sharp knives. And with a fridge that I don't have to share with anybody else so my covered things stay covered and so nobody spits in my milk. So I can *enjoy* spending a 1/2 day cooking (on occasion). And with a freezer so I can make my own convenience meals. Sort of open plan... To a living area that is aesthetically pleasant. With a green leafy tree aspect to it. Someplace *pretty* where I can sprawl out all my stuff and... Get on with it.

It would be great to have a kent fire with the flume as central heating. I have never looked after my own fire, before... I think you can keep them burning on low for quite some time without tending them with coal... I would need to look into that... Since we don't do central heating here...

Leafy trees during the day and a fire at night...

I would actually feel like a person.

Trying to explain this to anybody else... I'm being 'unreasonable', 'super-sensitive', 'too fussy', and 'expecting too much'.

I don't feel like a person living here. I feel like the person is falling out of me. With every squeak and yip and squawk and slam slam slam I become colder with respect to the people who upset me, so. Of course rationally I understand that it is reasonable that they bounce their balls about on the ball court and so on...

That doesn't change the effect it has on me.




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