Posted by Deneb on January 14, 2006, at 19:49:05
In reply to Your doctor already told you this is nothing » Deneb, posted by Racer on January 14, 2006, at 16:29:03
> Seriously -- put your mind around this, Deneb: Your doctor, whom you've stated you trust, told you that this lump is NOTHING.
I still want to be 100% certain that it is nothing. I'm waiting to get an ultrasound of it. Meanwhile the uncertainly is horrible. It's very unlikely that the lump is anything serious since it doesn't fit the cancer profile, but some people still win the lottery...
> That you are still worrying, and 'planning the end of your life' and all that, well, it's something you're choosing to put your energy into. And you can choose to stop putting energy into it, too.
Yes, I suppose you're right. I just tend to see the worst possible scenarios in everything. I don't know why I torture myself this way. Maybe it alleviates my anxiety about living life...since if things turn out as bad as I think they will I won't need to make something of myself.
Also, I think I'm superstitious in my own way. I think that if I expect good things to happen, the opposite will happen. I started thinking this way when I was little. I called it my opposite theory. When something good happened, I knew that something bad would happen. The better things were, the worse they would get.
> I'm sorry that you're feeling bad, Deneb, and I know you are. But how about putting some energy into working towards feeling better long term, rather than devoting so much energy to needless worry?
I'll try Racer. It's hard not to worry. I'll start by ceasing my research on breast cancer. I'll concentrate on studying and I'll think about good things like getting a hamster and the Babble Party. This will make the time go by more quickly.
Thanks Racer for urging me to think of more productive things.