Posted by okydoky on February 24, 2009, at 12:37:43
In reply to Thinking of you w/ compassionate thoughts (nm) » okydoky, posted by zenhussy on February 5, 2009, at 11:51:37
My Father waited until his children got to Florida before he had life support measures stopped. She died within about 3 minutes and the entire time did not seem in any pain.
I talked to her almost every day for several years and in the past several months the only topic she would mention was her pain. She is no longer in pain of that I am glad.
In the car driving 24 hours with my sister and brother my brother continued to criticize my Mother (this was her life with her family) until I screamed at him that for Gods sake she is not alive anymore. My sister was and is just cold and hard.
She was the only person in my family that I kept in touch with. I never felt like I had any nurturing or caring family but now she is gone I realize how much she did do for me and how alone I REALLY am now.
I have two pictures, one of her and one of me at about age 5 or 6 and if you look at them you would not believe they are not the same person. I looked for them and could not find them but I will.
I dont think I have been dealing with my grief much at all. I have been taking tranquilizers and sleeping pills every day in a desperate attempt to escape.
In my mind with the passing of my Mother I have no real family left.
Again thanks all for providing this much needed outlet for me. I am being selfish but it is what I need right now.
At my Mothers service the Rabbi told how my Mother would always say you give when you can and take when you have to Her telling me that assuaged a lot of guilt many times in my life.