Psycho-Babble Grief | about grief, mourning, loss | Framed
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thanks all for sharing

Posted by okydoky on February 5, 2009, at 2:17:07

I have spoken much of my beloved dog George or "okydoky" He made everything "oky". On December 10th 2008 he became so ill, seemed in so much pain I was quietly and kindly led to the decision to help him to his end by a compassionate emergency vet at 4am in the morning.

I almost never grieve. I almost never cry. Very occasionally I get a flash of his last hours and for a moment I am struck with GUILT and painfully shocked. Most of the time I am unaware of his absence. I had assumed when George was gone I would follow him soon. I find myself gone without actually physically dieing most of the time. I pretty much stopped getting out of bed most days.

Tonight my Father called to tell me my Mother was on a respirator and had not had oxygen he thought for about 7-8 minutes. Her heart had stopped. I feel almost nothing. I am imagining or rather cannot imagine how I will not cope with my Mother's death.

No one needs feel the need or obligation to reply to this post. You are already there for me.

I am having a difficult time with my own thoughts. Some of you have known me from this site. So I read some threads on this board probably mostly not to be alone in several ways.I guess in the end I will always be alone, alone with my thought no matter how much I sleep tranquilise myself, or mindlessly block out every memory effortlessly.

A place to speak my thoughts.
A place not to be alone in the night.
A place to to understand better through you.

I was able to cry a bit through your words. Thank you.

I am grateful.





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Psycho-Babble Grief | Framed

poster:okydoky thread:878152