Posted by nisha1 on September 26, 2004, at 22:14:58
In reply to Re: Suicide » JF, posted by Shar on September 5, 2004, at 1:22:49
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my brother to suicide in March of 2000. His wife died by suicide 10 months before he did. He was very depressed and blamed himself for her actions. She was sick and depressed as well. They left 5 kids ages 9 thru 17.
I also tried to hold it together for the sake of my parents and siblings. I ended up on my couch for 1 week and went to 3 doctors in less than 5 days. I was sick with grief. I remember thinking how I could hardly wait till 5 years from then. I figured the hurt would go away.
Well, its been 4 1/2 years and I still hurt, but I'm able to handle it better. I still think about him every day, but I don't cry everyday.
I've educated myself on suicide. I've learned that when a person is depressed, its not just a mental thing but also a physical thing. Physical things happen in our brains when we are depressed. I hope I make some sense here.Our brains stop producing as much serotonin and dopomine (I think thats how they are spelled) as it normally would. Also, our bodies can go to hell, as mine did. The above brain chemicals that I mentioned are our "feel good" chemicals. With low production, it makes us feel bad and we do things that we normally wouldn't do.
The reason I'm mentioning this is that I can't imagine anyone wanting to take their life unless they are feeling extremely bad.
You are so young and I wish you never had to experience such a painful thing. It helps to talk to others who have been thru this, and it helps to read up on suicide. Also, I prayed alot. I believe my brother and his wife have a place in heaven and someday we will all be together.
Please don't turn to drugs-it will make you feel worse in the long run. I abused alcohol for 2 years after this and nearly ruined my family.
You CAN be happy again, after your period of grief.
Time heals. Take Care