Psycho-Babble Grief | about grief, mourning, loss | Framed
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Re: Baby Rock's Blue Ribbon days » BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on July 31, 2004, at 18:18:57

In reply to Re: Baby Rock's Blue Ribbon days » katia, posted by BarbaraCat on July 31, 2004, at 15:09:55


> What you're going through really sounds like PTSD. It seems like something very violent and wrenching happened that night and all those emotions got locked in. What you're describing about the physical sensations sounds very much like an overdose of adrenaline surge. Your poor adrenals are probably spasming. I've had some EMDR eye movement therapy. It helped when I was going through some vivid flashbacks of my childhood. You can do it to yourself when you're in overwhelm. It breaks the neural loop somehow. This is how I do it:
>
> - You do this for about a minute, fully experiencing what's up, then stop and gauge where you're at. You might rate how you're > It's helped me alot and seems to break the loop that the limbic center is trying to gouge in the brain circuits. Sometimes those triggers just disolve. It's really important to nip PTSD in the bud if you can.
>

**Hi Barbara,
I did do some of that EMDR once years ago with a therpaist. Is it alternating hands and eyes though or moving together? i.e. left hands and right eyes? I can't remember.
I am in pain and everyone I see driving one of those big noisey trucks - big beafy guys I cringe thinking those are the ones that are fighting pit bulls. I know it's prejudice and awful but I can't help but feel the whole world is cruel and my baby would be here with me now if he had never landed in that awful situation of being forced to fight or die. Cathy told me that she couldn't believe that he wasn't dead from all he went through; he was very strong. And I can't help but think, it took me to kill him. I made the decision to put him down. I know Cathy says that it was a selfless, courageous and compassionate act, but I don't understand why I had to now. I miss his little happy dance before meals or walks. He'd dance and jump in circles - I couldn't believe he never got so dizzy to fall down. I just really miss him so much. My heart feels broken. And I don't know if this is natural grief or if I'm plummenting. I cry every day.

> As for me, oh gad, I was up at 4am on my way to the emergency animal hospital this morning. Our little girl kitty, Shashee, was in severe respiritory distress. Her xrays show that she might have a heart condition and the prognosis is 6-12 months. She's in an oxygen chamber til tomorrow.

**Oh Barb, I'm so sorry. She probably is following Merlin. Maybe that can give you some comfort that he'll be waiting for her.

>
> On the way home, I felt very still, almost accepting of this new thing which will surely bring fresh trauma and new grief into our lives.

**It doesn't sound like denial or shock to me. It sounds like a deep spiritual place you've arrived at. I've been there before during grief over an abortion and lose of boyfriend at the same time. I was alternating between heaven and hell with this underlying peace and connection with spirit.

> Back to you. One other thing - go to a health food store and get a homeopathic remedy for grief: Ignatia 30C strength, and take 5 pellets every 2 hours. It really helps to break the energetic pattern of grief that can get locked in. If you can get a stronger dose, like 200C, that would be good, but most stores don't carry higher doses. While you're there, get some Siberian ginseng, which helps the adrenals and to withstand stress. Don't get the Korean or Panax - too strong for right now.

**I will try some. I got that rescue remedy - Cathy also recommened that.

>
> If I were you, I'd also get some benzos to help during this time. I recently got oxazepam, or Serax, which is in the Ativan family. It's very mild and doesn't impair anything but helps to smooth things out. I can't say anything about raising the Paxil since my own experiences with it weren't good, but you definitely might need something to blunt this trauma.

**I'm not so unable to sleep as I am feeling like I'm plummneting; which is why I want to possibly up the dose of Paxil. It's worked fine for me so far.

> My husband just said something (BTW, I've been sharing with him your story cause he had a beloved pit-bull. He sends you his care and concern). He said it sounds like the fear energy during this intense trauma might have entered your energy field. It might be good to command that energy to leave, tell it to go to the Light, and envision that sticky glommy stuff being washed out of your aura by a shower of sparkling pure Light and that dense stuff going back to it's benign universal source. Do this many times. If that fails, here's where a good Shaman comes in handy.

**Yes, I need help here. And I think I can do some powerful work with CAthy. She's coming over next week to speak with Rock and me.

> I'll let you know of Shashee's condition as soon as I know. This is just so weird. - Barbara

**Please do. I'm glad you're in a powerful and wise/peaceful space underneath it all.
take good care,
Katia


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