Psycho-Babble Grief | about grief, mourning, loss | Framed
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Re: Baby Rock's Blue Ribbon days » katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on July 30, 2004, at 19:58:15

In reply to Re: Baby Rock's Blue Ribbon days » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on July 30, 2004, at 16:26:11

>
> Yes that's my gorgeous charming baby! He was so very beautiful; and what made him so was his so very beautiful spirit shining through.
> >
**No wonder you're proud of him. Now, that's a dog! And such conformation! You know, it's sad he was taken in the prime of his beauty but in another way, such a strong beautiful physical presence to take with him, such beautiful memories of his vitality are a gift. Seeing my beautiful Merlin so frail and suffering and starving to death absolutely tore me apart. My life was on hold since we found out about his FIV in December. We have 8 other cats and they were all going wiggy and needy, which wasn't helping at all. After a point, we knew we had to stop the force feedings and subcutaneous fluids (he hated it and was beginning to run from us) and let nature take it's course. What a horrible long drawn out anguish that was complicated by his most definitely not wanting to go. I guess it was a tearing open that my stubborn self needed but I feel wrung out, raw. I so much wish he didn't have to suffer like that. I couldn't protect my Sweetheart from that pain. I just have to honor that it was his choice, something his soul needed. Be glad you have those vibrant memories of Rock to remember him by.

>>>Thank God and the heavens above that he was led to me. I just think of all the other dogs out there that are suffering and it kills me. I don't understand the cruelty and suffering of this world. I understand so much better the afterlife of this world - the spirit world much better than I do this strange planet of destruction and cruelty. And yes of love as well. But that love to me is spirit - not of this world. Not a product of it.

**What you just said encapsulates my life issues and areas I so much need to heal. I frequently don't feel like I belong here. What a strange place. I lose faith and trust that there's any meaning and purpose to it. Especially cruely to animals. That's a very low consiousness that can do that sorry crap and I don't want it around me. But I'm getting very clear that this is where my healing begins - to somehow take this in and let the holy light of spirit in there as well. To open my scared and scarred heart and let that grace in. All this dying in the last year has been ripping my heart open and it feels like a thawing frostbit limb and it hurts. It takes alot of faith and sometimes I'm just too tired to dredge it up.

Katia, here's a link to a very special and wonderful place that I mentioned to you before - Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah. www.bestfriends.com. It's philosophy of finding the best and the good in sad situations is so healing. It always makes me feel good and hopeful. It's how I want to live my life. Their mission of hope and honoring our critters and coming from a positive angle is truly working, a growing microcosm of 'yes, it can be done'. It does my heart so much good to know that there are bright shining souls - angels - doing good work and making a difference. We don't hear about this kind of good stuff in the news. It might do your aching heart some good to spend some time at their site.
>
>>My heart opens in a way with animals that doesn't with humans. And it's not just that - I understand them so very well and maybe that's because I do have some telepathic abilities that I am not allowing myself to develop further or give myself credit for. It's so very hard to be so sensitive - really need clear and strong clearing powers and boundaries to survive and hold it all without shutting down.
>
**Well, maybe this is an area that you can ask Rock for help. My link with Merlin is so intense and forever and I know that he wants to help, and now he's in a great position to do that. Rock's energy is so strong. I get that he wants to continue to protect you, like a guardian angel. I strongly believe that they love to have a 'job' over there and it helps their souls to evolve. Rock is probably eager to do this - after, of course, he spends some time exploring his new digs.

Right now, you need to rest and heal and let the swirling settle down. I'm coming to accept that there are questions for which there are no answers, at least not in this dense 3rd dimensional reality. We are living in interesting times, hah! I bet that if you just sit with that strong bond you two have, you'll be guided to the next step and fiercely protected along the path. It seems that his vibrant pit-bullness is just part of him and he'll take that tenacity with him throughout his soul's journeys. You and this little dog are gifts to each other and of course, no accident that you were led to each other. Perhaps this is new territory and new beginnings you're moving into, and he's there to support you in a powerful way.

I think the key to life is this: 1) Put one foot in front of the other; 2) breathe into the moment; 3) keep the heart open, no matter what. That's my mantra and I'm trying my best to live by it. Oh, and lots and lots of good ol' down and dirty crying. Later, amiga. - Barbara


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poster:BarbaraCat thread:371461
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