Psycho-Babble Grief | about grief, mourning, loss | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Baby Rock's Blue Ribbon days » BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on July 30, 2004, at 16:26:11

In reply to Re: Baby Rock's Blue Ribbon days » katia, posted by BarbaraCat on July 30, 2004, at 14:20:18

> Are those pictures of him? The Rock-ster? What a gorgeous, absolutely wondrous specimen of life! What a proud happy fella! What happened, Katia? If you don't want to talk about the event, that's understandable. But sometimes it helps to tell the story to somone who really cares and is truly interested in what happened to your little guy.

**Hi Barbara,
Yes that's my gorgeous charming baby! He was so very beautiful; and what made him so was his so very beautiful spirit shining through.
>
> I found that the greatest gift anyone could give me when my Mom died was simply listening and being interested in her, letting me talk about her and her life. A way to keep her memory and my love for her alive. Yesterday at the clinic I go to (fibro treatments), the nurse just sat with me and we both cried in memory of our beloved animals who had passed. It was such a sweetness and gave me a feeling of connection to all things. Please know that I'll be here whenever you want to talk about your handsome pooch and what he meant to you.


**I will talk about it; but not in detail right now. Later I will.

> As for us, nothing can be done about this grief except to acknowledge that it hurts. I've given up that I can ever understand any of it. There's a mystery going on and my mind is pretty limited in scope. But for you, so much more hurt and trauma because such violence accompanied the parting of the veils. This kind of thing rips you open and transforms you and you're never the same. Sounds like your Rock was a great teacher and went out the way he lived life - dynamically!

**That is for sure. He was so very alive and acutely aware of his surroundings and dynamic. Last night a friend came over with her golden retriever (after I promised Rock that he is my number one baby and Sam (the dog) is just visiting). I've known Sam for years and he is like my nephew. I'm always the one to watch him when they go away. He loves it when I stay with him because he gets spoiled so much that he forgets about missing his mother). He's sweet and passive like any golden. And I missed Rock terribly. We went to the car at around midnight seeing her and Sam off and I was already feeling anxious because we were in the street where it had happened with Rock and the rival dog two doors down when a man walked up fast towards us reaching his hand in his pocket. I was boxed in near my friend in the front door and immediately moved around it and she closed it. he was asking for money (I don't live in a bad neighborhood). We shook our heads and I moved quickly away and he just left. It was scary and Sam didn't even raise his head to it. I was so sad because I knew Rock would never have let that man come anywhere near me. He was so alert and protective; he would've clawed through a stone wall to protect me. I felt so sad and vulneable because my proctetor is no longer with me. He loved me deeply as I him. Cathy the animal communicator laughed and said "you two would have quite a relationship if he was human!". It was a deep love I haven't had with many dogs and nothing like this one unique one with baby Rock. There was such an understanding between us. A deep, strong, dynamic alive connection. I still feel him here. I get up and immediately think of him and that I need to let him out to go potty. I walk out into the living room and he's physically not there but I feel him. It's strange. He snored like a freight train and I couldn't sleep with him. Cathy said that he had damage on his larnyx and nasal cavity from being shot and then later hung and such with his neck. Rock told her that his snoring has gotten worse over the years. He did have trouble swallowing and such. Poor darling. Thank God and the heavens above that he was led to me. I just think of all the other dogs out there that are suffering and it kills me. I don't understand the cruelty and suffering of this world. I understand so much better the afterlife of this world - the spirit world much better than I do this strange planet of destruction and cruelty. And yes of love as well. But that love to me is spirit - not of this world. Not a product of it.

> Although the setting was not clinical for Merlin, he was at home, it was not easy. Merlin fought to the very end. Even after the injection was given, his heart kept beating and he kept gasping for breath. He was writhing and clawing and dragging to get away, to keep alive, even in his worn out emaciated little body. He had been suffering so much and it amazed all of us that he still had his indominatable will to live very much intact even as he was dying. His body and organs were shutting down for weeks, except for his very strong and healthy heart. I had to tell him quite firmly but lovingly to fly to the Light, go, go, go. I promised I would be allright, he could go without concern. And I've decided that for Merlin's sake I am going to be allright, because I made that promise to him and I will keep it. I feel his presence helping me to learn about loving life again and finding joy in simple things.
>

**My goodness what a strong little boy!! That must have been hard to see Barbara. I'm glad you guided him over. He seemed to be saying "I'll be back!".

> Katia, this may sound premature, but I have to tell you. I was in Powell's Book Store yesterday hungrily searching for books on the afterlife, what's it all about, etc., and I suddenly got a very strong hit about you. I even saw you very clearly and the message I was told to tell you was "Healing and understanding animals. Tell her she has the gift". Maybe this was what Rock's gift to you was. To tear you apart so that you could be reassembled for your true purpose. I can speak from my own wrenching but transforming experience. Somehow these deaths of my Mom and Merlin (and so very many other close friends throughout the years) are helping me to finally uncover where my own path is leading. It sure as heck ain't back to High Tech Project Management! Much love and gentle cradling in the Mother's arms. - Barbara

**That's very powerful Barbara. Wow. I am so thankful you shared that with me. I know something is coming from this I just don't know what yet. I'm not only in grief, but I am also (I think) suffering a bit of post traumatic stress syndrome. I need some time to clear my brain and energy. I will take that message very seriously and to heart. My heart opens in a way with animals that doesn't with humans. And it's not just that - I understand them so very well and maybe that's because I do have some telepathic abilities that I am not allowing myself to develop further or give myself credit for.
It's so very hard to be so sensitive - really need clear and strong clearing powers and boundaries to survive and hold it all without shutting down.

So glad to hear from you. I am so happy you got to see my baby.
Lots of love,
Katia


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Grief | Framed

poster:katia thread:371461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/372442.html