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Re: Merlin's fantastic passing » BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on July 29, 2004, at 0:51:59

In reply to Merlin's fantastic passing » gardenergirl, posted by BarbaraCat on July 28, 2004, at 23:29:06

Hi Barb,
I just read your below post. That is something Cathy (the communicator) said to me - "Rock wants you to enjoy and love life and not be sad. He loved life soooo much." And he did. He ALWAYS raised my spirits. He was the best AD I've ever had. What a charmer he was. I miss him dearly. It has been a week now. Time will heal this pain. I wouldn't change a thing either. WEll the only thing I would've changed was to meet him eariler to save him from what ultimately killed him. That HORRIBLE HORRIBLE CRUEL Pit Bull fighting trade.
He told Cathy that he never wanted to fight. It was awful. The "bad men" beat him with tools to get him to fight , took away his food, made him live in crates with other dogs and feces and hung him by his neck from trees. He longed to be like he was when he was a puppy and he said he felt like damaged goods and had too many demons now. I wish those "bad men" would get hung up by their necks and made to lay in their own feces - BASTARDS! I promised him I'd NEVER let the bad men get him again.
It's quite a story - too long to tell here. I may tell it in a book - a biography of my baby.
take good care Barb and it takes time to let the grief pass over and through you. Surfing the waves of grief! The worst part is wanting to smell him again and have him lay in my lap looking up at me backwards. He was such a wonderful dog. I miss him so much my arms hurt and my body feels like dust - incomplete without him.
Katia

> Thanks so much, my friends. You have no idea how much your outpouring of love helped me today. Now that my little Maine Coon Merlin is gone (wow! what a struggle! That little dude was a scrapper to the last hurrah.) I feel a sense of relief that he is free, he is soaring with the stars, aloft on dreams. Oh God, I will miss him. Such pure love, such pure pure love. I will miss his little fluffyness, his scent, his purr, that special way a little critter fits on the shoulder.
>
> He was one of my greatest teachers, always, from the first time I set eyes on him, 9/1/90, when he captured my heart in a box full of kitties outside a bookstore in Mill Valley, CA. What he taught me was this. LOVE LIFE! No matter how shitty it gets, no matter how much we do not understand about any of this crazyness, we have Life! It doesn't seem such a big deal to us sometimes, sometimes having this Life is too much a burden, especially when we're so sad, so afraid, so unsure where it or we are going. But what I learned from Merlin is that Life is to be treasured, simply because it is. There is joy to be found, simple pure joy. We aren't given to know the answers, we can only do the best we can with the time we are given. To paraphrase dear Gandalf, but this is also what my own inner Voice told me awhile back. Today my little Merlin told me this as I saw him soaring and tumbling over the rainbow, as my heart was released from his suffering: "Wheeeee! I had no idea it was this great!! Thank you, Mom! Thank you for loving me! Don't worry about a thing, it's all wonderful!". I had lost hope, but he plugged me back into it.
>
> We can't understand what it's all about, we aren't supposed to know the end of the movie. That would be cheating. But we have to fight the good fight anyway and live the best life we can, even without knowing the answers. I only hope I can live my life from this day on half as well as he lived his.
>
> Thank you, friends. You have helped to soothe a sorrowful heart today. I will light a candle each Monday as well to all our furrry friends who know of the Great Light as only they can. What a lovely tradition. Here's to my Merlin and all our precious loved ones, forever... - BarbaraCat (previously 9 cats, now 8 - at least on this plane).


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poster:katia thread:371461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/371908.html