Posted by shar on September 16, 2003, at 11:13:19
In reply to Grief, Sadness, loss or just depression?, posted by KayJ on September 15, 2003, at 8:51:32
> What I wouldn't give to spend one more day with them.
.........What would that day be like? Have you ever visualized how it would go, what you would do or say together?
>...but I should be grateful for what I have.
..........it sounds like you are grateful for what you have, AND you still are grieving your parents. Both can occur at once; having the love of your husband and family does not mean you won't grieve the loss of your parents.
I guess I am just a big baby : )
.........Oh, baloney! That kind of thinking is very hurtful to you. It minimizes your grief and you don't deserve it.
........BTW, being a caretaker is a heavy duty, extremely draining exhausting job. I wonder if you feel you did 'good enough' for them? I would think that along with your grief it must be a tremendous relief to not have that burden (though I know some might not like that word, but it IS so very, very hard to do). If you do feel relief, maybe you also feel guilty at feeling relieved.
........I think counseling (pastoral, psychological, etc.) could be helpful, and probably would not be a long term commitment for you. Bereavement imo will take its own time, but support couldn't hurt.