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Williams: Child Abuse/Abandoned by God

Posted by daisym on April 14, 2005, at 14:22:10

I'm surprised that this hasn't come up before. How do you reconcile your faith in God's love and protection with a childhood history of severe physical and sexual abuse?

I've read the above threads with interest, especially because I'm a practicing (and practical) Catholic who is seeing a Jewish psychologist. He and I have had several discussions about faith, especially when I told him after six months of therapy that I had stopped talking to God. He knows that I attended Catholic schools growing up and things were pretty rigid, especially "Honor thy father and mother." He encourages me to remember that I feel better when I force myself out the door to Church because as hard as it is to ask these questions about God, prayer is still sustaining for me.

We are in the middle of exploring the past and a large part of that is dealing with the guilt of what I "did" as well as the pain of recognizing that no one saved me, not even God.

OK, as an adult, I *know* about free will and I believe evil exists in the world. But there is a deep emotional wound that finds it hard to understand why God "allows" such things to happen. I guess this is the ultimate existential question, isn't it?




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