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Re: trying to define spiritual experience (clumbsy)

Posted by Tabitha on August 24, 2003, at 13:07:38

In reply to trying to define spiritual experience (clumbsy), posted by rayww on August 24, 2003, at 9:38:11

thanks rayww.. your post gave me chills. My mom was Apostolic Pentecostal-- they put a lot of emphasis on Holy Ghost experiences. She had several, one I know involved 'dancing in the spirit' during a service, but never told me what it felt like. She was also bipolar, and I just assume the mania and spiritual experiences were probably linked, but to me that doesn't discount her experience any.

I haven't had so many spiritual experiences like that, but there were two that were distinct. One was triggered by hallucinogenic mushrooms, and one was triggered by about an hour of lap-swimming. In the first one, I had sort of a sense of God's presence, while seeing a bird's eye view of all creation. Creation was a pulsing, beautiful, living thing, like a kaleidoscope or fractal image. It was incredibly beautiful and alive, and active. I asked God 'why?' meaning why did he create all this and keep it going. I got an answer in a huge rush of love, as if God was letting me feel his love for all his creation, including me. Wow! At that time in my life I had barely felt love at all, as I had been depressed since childhood. I had no idea what a pure, generous love actually felt like. So the message was clear, all creation is a manifestation of God's love. For days afterward I felt transformed, compassionate and teary toward everything, overwhelmed by the beauty of life.

The second experience didn't have a component of the presence of God, but I just suddenly dropped into a sense of timelessness and infinite space. I was swimming, and the pool just suddenly felt as if it was a huge ocean. Time was still moving, but somehow it felt as if each moment was infinite. I felt 'altered' as I showered, dressed, got lunch, and returned to work. On the way in, I was hyper-attuned to nature, the weeds and insects buzzing in the un-landscaped part of the complex where I worked. I couldn't believe how much life was present everywhere. Then I got inside the grounds, where it was nothing but green grass monoculture, and it hurt me to see the lifelessness of it. I felt altered for about an hour, though I functioned normally during that time.

Everything else I've experienced is just tiny glimpses, moments of peace in the middle of stress. Lately I'm trying to tune into synchronicity or answered-prayer experiences though. I think that's something that happens more than I notice, so I'm trying to notice, and take a moment to be thankful, and marvel at the mechanism of life when it happens.




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poster:Tabitha thread:253565