Posted by Temmie on August 20, 2003, at 17:33:05
In reply to Re: Trouble Accessing Current Posts » Temmie, posted by Dena on August 20, 2003, at 16:44:20
Stop! No, I mean it! Really! Stop!
I'm sorry for your loss dear, sweet, Dena. Never having lost a child (except for my 18-year old, who kind of blew me off today, really!), I can't imagine.
I'm so sorry.
Re. Paul and me, I don't know what to say.
I feel bonded with this man at a very deep level, and continue to feel so .... I guess I haven't done enough suffering yet (really! I really mean it!).
Seriously -- I just don't know what to say.
I am still in love with a deeply flawed man, and still working on letting go of him -- not so much to fill with another, although that would be nice -- if Mr. gee-I-feel-so-bonded-with-you-in-my-soul would only pop up -- but to let go so he can do his thing, I can do mine -- and if we're both alive at the end of the next year or so (and he's clean and sober) ... maybe we can see. I've got a big challenge ahead with difficult kids in a difficult school, and a graduate program that will surely test my confidence and capabilities (just wait! You'll be hearing all about it this fall!).
I've gotta focus on my own stuff here (Really!), and Lord knows, Paul's gotta full plate. I'll keep an eye open in the meantime but (honestly!), I'm not really looking. I'm too busy.
I didn't take offense at anything you said. Of course we all long for comfort, solace, understanding, love -- and for all of our voids and sadnesses to be filled (or swept away!) in moments of despair.
Perfectly understandable thinking. (Really!)
Oh, I've gotta stop here, really!
Much, much love ~