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Re: what happens when faith dies?jim, dena, rayw

Posted by habbyshabit on August 19, 2003, at 0:10:29

In reply to what happens when faith dies?, posted by habbyshabit on August 18, 2003, at 13:59:01

You guys are my lights in the darkness. I wrote here for there is nowhere my feelings would be more heard, it felt. To consider this feeling is depressing, even though my energy is returning and my mood is better.

I don't see the light at the end of this dark tunnel. I've never been down this road before. Faith is not of the intellect and I feel this as an intellectual conundrum that obscures any inkling of faith.

I've had a number of ineffable spiritual experiences. I always accepted Trungpa Rinpoche's teachings not to attach to them and ego aggrandize. Now I wonder about the neurologic origins. More intellect at work, no faith in that grandeur.

It's not fun. I can't find my way out of this maze. I've stopped trying. I don't know what to call this. To call it a dark night of the soul is to subscribe to another story of the nature of the soul. Sorry you all. I don't want to take you on this journey with me, if only in word pictures.

Your faith in your chosen religions is a joy to witness. I would never invalidate it. It's real. But so are my husband's delusions. I think his illness has played a huge role in this. This amazing way the mind can make it's own reality. Mass delusion would be so much kinder then his isolated one.

THANK YOU! all for reading what I say here. It's a disturbing reality from which I would love to step in to the motion sensor lights and dispell.

In all love,




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poster:habbyshabit thread:251864