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Re: Scared of my body.

Posted by Cal on October 9, 2008, at 9:11:42

In reply to Re: Scared of my body. Cal, posted by Racer on October 8, 2008, at 17:17:26

> Hello, and welcome to Babble! I'm glad you're here, and hope you'll stick around.
> You raised some great questions in your post -- I hope we'll get some discussion of them.
> The one that jumped out at me right away was, "What am I really afraid of?" It sounds as though your mother was a bit paralyzed during your early adolescence, and unable to offer you the support you needed. I'd bet you also had some anxiety about school chums, which probably prevented you from going shopping with someone who could offer you an outside perspective. (I lacked a lot of that, too, so I can certainly empathize.) And then, your mother also modeled a fear or resistance to shopping for clothes, so your own discomfort and fear were magnified. Not a great combination, it sounds like.
> Does any of that resonate with you at all? Could that be a track to explore for you?
> Also -- I'm another who hates shopping for clothes. I hate trying on clothes in the dressing room. (I most dread trying on bras, but that's another story...) I can walk into a store feeling pretty OK, then be ready to leap in front of a train within minutes of starting to try on clothes. AND I have no idea what looks good on me, which makes it even harder for me.
> Ah, well. I don't have any answers, but I think it's a great topic for discussion, and I am glad you found your way here.

Oh yes, it does resonate with me. *Gulp*, suddenly I have flashbacks of my mothers hatred of what middle age had "done" to her..I mean this was back in the late 60's early 70's when 40+ was more like 60+. I was alwasy told of what a wonderful figure and dress sense she had before she adopted me. I would look in her closet at her old the time I was old enought to notice what she was wearing, she was in elasticated waisted trousers and was really quite big. Perhaps I am reliving her own self hatred? she didn't want me to have what she no longer had? oh lots to think on here. Im only just begining to understand how much of my adoptivem others emotions were picked up by me. I look at myself now and feel as awful as I heard my mother feel? I am afraid I will turn into her? its all in the feelings isn't it? The food is just a sympton.




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