Psycho-Babble Eating | about eating | Framed
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Racer (possibly ED triggers)

Posted by WaterSapphire on September 19, 2008, at 7:55:40

In reply to Wanting to help a friend with BED, posted by Racer on September 11, 2008, at 8:37:55

I hope that my approach to this does not come off as something that would hurt your feelings or wish to help and be a part of your friend's wellness.

I am very honest, and this is just my take on things here. I am very fat. However, my problem is not related to binge eating or compulsive eating. I do however have a big problem with salt as you know and insulin resistance which makes it hard for me sometimes. The only time I ever eat crazy things is one of two days a month during that stupid time all women must go through.
First, does your friend even have a problem with the way he/she eats personally? Does he/she complain or talk about this a lot?
Is it affecting his/her weight?
You state you have dealt with anorexia. You went to your friend with your eating issues and he/she was there for you. Does your friend want help do you think? First you must make sure this is not something only you are wanting, for your friend might well be taken aback unless they are crying out for help in some way. I have no idea of course because I am not in your shoes or situation. It might be good to just make sure you are not letting any personal issues with eating cause bias. I only say this because when someone has any kind of eating issue as I am sure you very well know, you don't want them to feel even more awful about how they may already feel about themself.
I am fat, and yet I have also tried to starve myself, and even purged here and there in the past( no binging). I had a friend who gravitated toward the pro-ana lifestyle and at that time I followed her. The reason I followed her was because I needed to lose a ton of weight, and I was sick of being judged by everyone. I need to lose weight for my health, and never have felt offended by people who were my true friends or family so long as it was not something they always felt a need to point out all the time. But, I stopped eating hardly at all.I was not anorexic because I was way too fat to be anorexic. I became even more depressed than ever, and only would grab a few bites to eat when she was not looking. I am talking food sneaking because I was afraid of her saying something to me about eating normally or eating at all. It ruined our friendship. She was never big to begin with and very ill with malabsorption. She stopped talking to me because I didn't want to keep on with the same lifestyle she was so entranced by. She now is very deeply into the pro-ana pro-mia lifestyle. I am not trying to scare you here. I am not trying to say what you should do. You are a good, helpful, kind friend. I am just sharing my perspective, because I am still fighting this today. Just two weeks ago I started going down that old road again after starving myself for a few days, and eating 500 calories or less, so I decided to join weight watchers so I would not lose weight the unhealthy way by not eating or you know. Perhaps you could come out and ask your friend simply...
You know after dealing with my own eating disorder. I was wondering...Have you ever had any experience with this yourself? Have you ever felt the need to harm yourself in any way because of food?
It might work. This way you are not saying anything that might spark a negative response by your friend. I hope Racer nothing I have said here has sounded harsh. I just want to make sure you and your friend have many many years of friendship to share together. I miss my friend, but I could not please her.





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Psycho-Babble Eating | Framed

poster:WaterSapphire thread:851460