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it's a heart-breaking situation.... Racer

Posted by twinleaf on May 11, 2008, at 8:28:37

In reply to Re: Not getting real world support on it... Sigismund, posted by Racer on May 8, 2008, at 5:19:58

now that you have described it to us more fully. It sounds as though you are willing and able to do whatever it takes to make your mental health, and your life, better. But your husband appears to be almost inhabiting a different world. He apparently has a difficult time recognizing and responding adequately to things right in front of him- like your recent struggles with suicidality.

It is really jumping out at me: I don't think you can build a good marriage with this man unless he gets some therapy- probably quite a lot of it. There is the present inability to recognize and respond helpfully to the crisis you have been having, but there is also the inability to retain a normal sex drive after marriage- a big red flag right there! It's convenient, and reassuring, for him that you wear the label of the "sick" person in the marriage; in fact, although you do suffer from "emotional dysregulation" (to use the most current term), your thinking and judgement are responsible and razor-sharp, while his seems quite defensive.

I'm offering an opinion about something I don't know very much about, but my overall impression about places like Renfrew is that they are good. You would have an opportunity to work on your eating disorder within an expert setting, get on-going help with medication decisions, and also get a chance to have some distance from your marital situation. It appears as though your husband has a rather gloomy, "blame Racer" outlook; just getting away from that, and being with professionals who are informed, supportive and hopeful about you would probably be tremendously helpful. You come across, here, as a person with a tremendous amount going for her - honest, responsible, intelligent, hard-working (and somehow we know that you are attractive and beautiful, too!)- you just need a personal environment which meets some- not all!- of your basic needs as a human being. You will do the rest.

 

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Psycho-Babble Eating | Framed

poster:twinleaf thread:827092
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