Psycho-Babble Eating | about eating | Framed
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Posted by Racer on March 29, 2008, at 0:29:15

My therapist doesn't notice when my weight changes, and we don't talk about my weight or my eating. We do talk about issues related to my eating disorder, but it's more about things like being afraid to eat certain foods, etc.

So, the other day, someone was saying something to me about what anorexia "looks like," and I used myself to show what the weight criteria looks like, since I'm under the 85% line again. I was telling the story to my therapist, to illustrate how ignorant most people are about the disorder, when I realized the problem. So, I said something vague about saying I was underweight, but she caught me. She asked if I was under the 85% again. I wouldn't answer, but I suspect that tells her everything she wanted to know.

I don't know why I'm so afraid of her finding out. I don't want to deal with it, though -- my weight has been up for a while, so I've given it a good try. Turns out, I don't like it. I miss so much about what life was like before I started treatment. I miss feeling better, the way I did. The only problem, of course, is that it takes so much time... I'd forgotten that -- even with TV, I get bored while I exercise, and feel guilty about all the other things I could be doing at that time. I hate that part. But I hope I'll feel better again soon.




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Psycho-Babble Eating | Framed

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