Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 8, 2007, at 21:43:58
In reply to Re: Dissociative Mom :-( » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on September 8, 2007, at 21:13:21
I agree with what the others have said. You are not a bad mom, you are not a perfect mom, but neither is anyone else. We all make mistakes, kids are resilent creatures. Part of accepting that their parents are not perfect is part of growing up.
The only advice is try to be consistant with disapline if you can. If your son says hurtful things, there needs to be a consquense for that. Either grounding or taking away something that is important to him, and do it everytime he is mean to his sister or disrespective to you. Eventally he will learn that it isn't acceptable behavior. He is at a very important age, my son is 11 too, and they seem to try out different things to see if they can get away with it.
My son called her older sister (12) fat, hurt her feelings. First I grounded him from TV and computer for a week, then sent him to his room to think about his behavior and how he can improve it. Then I went in to talk to him about it, had him appolize to his sister, when he realized how hurtful he was.
If any of them hit each other, it is automatic grounding or whatever, no matter what. I take this very seriously. They know.
Being a parent is so hard. We want the best for our kids and it is hard when we seem them acting out, we sometimes think it is something that we did to cause it. But I think all kids do stuff, it is part of being a kid, no matter how good of a parent you might be, they will still try stuff.
Muffy take care of youself. Kids are centered around their own world, it has nothing to do with you, in fact it is natural.
poster:Happyflower 1 :-)