Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2007, at 8:17:13
In reply to Re: helping, posted by Dr. Bob on January 21, 2007, at 3:51:02
I never can figure out where trigger warnings should go.
I don't think there is much we *can* do except say I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, we care about you and want the best for you, and please go see someone IRL.
For two reasons.
One, there really is so much Babble can do. We're here for supporting each other, but how can we do any more than that? We can't call the police. We can't confiscate drugs. We can't sit with someone until the next day when they can go see their pdoc.
And two, many Babblers can only bear to babble if they *know* that that's all they can do. Knowing our limits of ability reassures us of our limits of responsibility.
How can you deprive us of the protections for both those of us feeling like harming ourselves and those of us interacting and trying to help those who feel like harming themselves.
Even my therapist has his boundaries where he folds his arms and tells me I need to be in a hospital, and he can't be the protection I need.
You're not here, and your boundaries are in place by your absence. Why discourage others from helping someone in the best way they know how (and the only way they can), and keeping in place an important boundary at the same time.
When does encouragement to do the wise thing become pressure?
What would you suggest instead?
I'll try to remember that not everyone has therapists as available as mine, that ER isn't always a help (surely I know that here right now), and that help lines aren't always all that helpful. And I can empathise with that. But I can't do the job of the facilities that aren't doing their's.
But if I'm not allowed, even in broken record mode, to suggest that someone contact help IRL, and remind them that Babble is no real life substitute in times like this, then I would not be able to respond at all to people in crisis.