Posted by wishingstar on January 20, 2007, at 9:37:55
In reply to Re: feeling afraid and ignored, posted by Dr. Bob on January 20, 2007, at 9:25:29
>>Saying he had made you feel uncomfortable probably would be considered something that could lead him to feel accused. Saying you would make him feel suicidal probably would be considered something that could lead you to feel pressured.
I just want to say that I personally would feel very accused and put down if I were in the position of the second poster there (the one who you wrote would feel pressured). More so than if someone told me I made them feel uncomfortable even. If you "make" someone suicidal (in their opinion), isnt that the ultimate accusation? You did something SO bad and make me feel SO terrible (and uncomfortable) that I have to kill myself to deal with it. It's an accusation just like any other, the stakes are just higher (ie, the persons life).
I think the issue may be that some, like you Dr Bob and maybe for some others too, would not perceive it as an accusation and would be able to seperate the other posters issues and your personal responsibility in the situation. But I'd argue that many of us on here dont perceive "I think xxx political figure is terrible" as uncivil or offense. However, I understand that there may be people who, for whatever reason, are very sensitive to that and the rule is to protect them. Of course not every person is going to fall under every rule - not all the protections on this site would be nexessary for it to feel safe for every member. That's understandable. But I'd encourage you to take the feelings of those who WOULD feel accused into account, rather than saying "well to ME, it's not an accusation." Even if it doesnt make sense to you, some people feel badly about this.