Posted by cloudydaze on July 27, 2006, at 17:36:07
In reply to Re: question/comment, posted by Tabitha on July 27, 2006, at 1:17:49
> It's all supposedly spelled out in the FAQ, but I think I can tell you a sure-fire way to avoid getting blocked
***The FaQ doesn't cover everything.
> 1) If you post on politics, don't insult any country or leader that some people may support
***So, pretty much....don't talk about politics?
> 2) If you post on faith, don't say one religion is the best & only. Also it's not the place to express doubts about religion in general
***I have never said my religion is best or only, and never would. However, that doesn't mean that no one would be offended by a religious post.
> 3) Don't use curse words. If you're not sure, you could check the online dictionary to see if it's listed as vulgar. The exact dictionary is probably in the FAQ
***This is probably the rule easiest to follow. But, for some it is not. Everyone has different levels of what they think is vulgar. Some people gasp at the word "stupid".
> 4) Don't be critical of another poster or their posts. Learn how to state a difference of opinion without making an accusation or a negative judgement. It's pretty much all about learning what's an "I-statement" and what isn't. Talk about yourself and your own reaction more than the other person. If you have to talk about the other person, learn to use a neutral description instead of a judgemental one. For instance it's not "your post is offensive", it's "I felt angry when I read your post about zoloft". And it's not "I get upset by your inconsiderate actions", it's "I get upset when you leave your socks on the floor". See the
***I see the difference in the words, but I don't understand why it is such a big deal. It's a lot to think about.
> 5) If someone asks you not to post to them, don't post to them.
> and a surefire technique in case you're still confused about the rules
> 6) Check your intentions-- if you're not feeling supportive toward the topic or person you're talking to, then be very careful. You can always email Dr Bob or a deputy if you're not sure if something is OK.
***I don't think i would ever try to offend someone intentionally on this site. But I do worry that things don't come out like I intend them to. That seems to happen to me a lot.
> and it goes without saying (I think)
> 7) if you get a warning, then back off.
I still think it's impossible to be "civil" (in this site's definition of the word) all of the time. In the FAQ (what is "civil") it says:
"Please don't be sarcastic, treat injury or death lightly, suggest that others harm (or use this site to exchange information that could be used to harm) themselves or others, jump to conclusions about others, post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, harass or pressure others, use language that could offend others, disclose without permission information that identifies or private communications from another poster, post information that you know to be false, exaggerate or overgeneralize -- etc. Even if you're quoting someone else."
Sometimes, we have no control over other's feelings. I would almost go as far to say that (I believe) it is human nature to exaggerate and overgeneralize. It is sometimes hard to override this. Yes, an attempt should be made to do so, but we are only human.
I feel upset when I see posts by people who are thinking or talking about suicide. It makes me very upset sometimes. Is this treating death lightly? In a way, I think so, but we wouldn't dare reprimand those on the brink of suicide! Or has it been done? I don't know - haven't been here long enough.
I just wonder if other people have trouble too. I would think that if I had a website for people with mental/emotional problems, I would not expect them to be perfect. I would expect that they might have problems with thinking clearly, impulsiveness, overreacting, or jumping to conclusions, paranoia, and other such symptoms of people who are mentally ill. I would also think that it would be hard for them to have to worry about each statement so much. I think it is hard (for me) to keep all these rules straight, especially since they seem (to me) to be ever-changing and fluctuating, and there is no solid, clear cut explanations. It seems to me that everything rests on a thin line...
Maybe this just isn't the site for me. Maybe I should start my own site?
I think maybe it's too much stress. I'd like to post here, but honestly, I feel like I'm being ostricized for even bringing this up.
I feel like I have to be perfect here - that I have to be something I'm not - something that no one IS.