Posted by Jay2112 on January 13, 2023, at 17:29:25
In reply to Re: I apologize for the things I wrote while hypomanic » Jay2112, posted by SLS on January 11, 2023, at 19:51:51
Hey Scott:
I read your writing in full, so I ask you please read mine.
As I said, I am just glad you are feeling better, and safe. Safe enough to realize what your drugs may have caused you: mania. I think it's important to realize we all have our own path to healing. My path is not your path. You may get frustrated with 'Complimentary' approaches, but all major health organizations recognize these approaches, which have sometimes proven to be just as effective, of not more, than laboratory chemicals. But, again, the idea is complimentary. I am happy you achieved YOUR remission for YOURSELF. That, is a very unique, individual process. We are all, always in recovery. Billions of variables depend on that. Something horrific could happen....and I wish not. Someone you greatly love...as was my case...could pass with the next minute. I lost a wife and child. My psychiatrist even told me...some people NEVER get over something like that. I haven't. The wound will be there, till I pass this earth. After a four or so year period, I found new love (temporarly), but my meds only were able to work till I got to that point. But, I am not ASYMPTOMATIC, and NO medication will ever make me be. Your 'formula(s)' are not mine, and will not ever work in my case. No psychiatrist will EVER 'fix' me.
What HAS worked for me is coming out of my little hole I dug, and getting into my community. I meet new people, who CARE, I practice mindfulness, which, in it's formal name of CBT, IS the most successful long-term psychological approach to most mental illness'. I wrote about it in my Master's thesis, and have nearly over 1,000 scientific references behind it. References from the Journal Nature, the most prestigious scientific journal.
I help the homeless, the addicted, mentally ill, jobless, physically ill in my job as a community concurrent disorder social worker. THAT is part of my healing, and that is how I was lead on the road to healing and peace was by a fellow social worker, who took me on, as he had lost a child himself.
There is a little story I tell my first year social work students. A man is trapped in a sewer with a grid above him. A doctor walks by, drops down a prescription; a priest walks by, drops down a prayer; finally, a regular guy walks by, opens up the grate and jumps down. The trapped guy goes "That was stupid. Now we are both stuck down here." The guy who jumped down goes "It's okay. I've been down here before, and know the way out."
Medicine has it's great points, but the science in psychiatry is a sham. Laboratory experience is NOT replicating real-life experience. Placebo NOW beats most new drugs in trials, and are being beatten in real-world trials everywhere. As the great psychiatrist Gabor Mate' has said, this capitalist society, a mean, one against another society that values rich man's money over the average working person, has created trauma, sickness, and hopelessness. The promising answer seems to go back to a major, overlooked, promise: psychedelics. I have been microdosing Psilocybin, with some very excellent results. Once every 4-5 days. My 'being' is much lighter...much, much, much so than ever on any drug. However, I take a small dose of Effexor with it, and carbamazepine. They had previously failed me. I may be switching to 10mgs of clomipramine, instead of the Effexor. I am feeling a lift of existential angst, a peace much more like the life I had when I was a teen, before the 'black dog'.
This is more than remission....this is living a life like I have never know. I am not 'high'....but my anger I used to feel on high dose medications is like another life I was in..my social connections have exploded...the way I FEEL for others. The anger, the pressure, the sweat, all of it, gone... But, I, actually, deeply, experience the pain and sadness of my losses of my two girls...at bedtime, I put on Maddona's "The Power of Goodbye", and others, and just ENVELOPE myself in the pure emotion of cathartic sadness...but just at night, occasionally...and I feel so CLOSE to them...that it isn't really painful. All those other medications rode overtop my hurt, and anesthetized my hurt...which is toxic, and not healthy.Anyhow...that is MY rant. For those on here (many) who are interested in psychedelics, please go forward, they can certainly be no more harmful than the chemicals we already take.
Best of healing, on your journey, to all....
Jay
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
-Don Miguel Ruiz-
poster:Jay2112
thread:1121512
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20220917/msgs/1121527.html