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Re: I am going through a suicidal, plea Lamdage22

Posted by SLS on April 30, 2021, at 16:45:22

In reply to Re: I am going through a suicidal, plea, posted by Lamdage22 on April 28, 2021, at 21:38:24

> Hey Scott,
> that is awesome. You sounded so hopeless not that long ago. Yeah I guess you could say that I am making progress. Thanks. What really helps is having a psychologist with whom I can about what truly occupies my mind. I found I can't do that with CBT Therapists. They always changed the subject. Not sure if it is safe to say that all CBT Therapists here are that way.
> And if I want to improve something biologically, I am looking almost exclusively at alternative treatments. I haven't changed meds since 2016. And made the most progress ever in those 5 years. In 2016 Trazodone was added, but it pooped out partially. Think I started supplementing in 2018. Found out I had deficiencies.
> Everyones way to better health is different. What do you think made you better now?

I decided to add Nardil 90 mg/day. I almost went back to Parnate, which is of only limited benefit.

So, this is what I am taking right now:

Nardil 90 mg/day
nortriptyline 100 mg/day
Lamictal 300 mg/day
lithium 300 mg/day

I need someone to slap me upside the head. I had reached 90 mg/day, and stayed there for 2 months. I had a bumpy ride, but the net trajectory was upward. Then I had smart/dumb idea. If 90 mg/day gave me a bumpy ride, maybe I should take more. So, I raised the dosage to 105 mg/day. I received an immediate robust improvement. It took less that 3 hours to respond to the dosage increase. After a few days, I began to feel crappy, so I raised the dosage again. I played with the Nardil dosage up and down for 3 months. I didn't think that there was a dosage window for Nardil. I never saw it in the literature, and no doctor ever mentioned such a dosage-response curve. In other words, 75 mg/day was too little and 105 mg/day was too much to maintain a persistent improvement. I am still experiencing mood shifts every few days, but they they are less frequent and less severe. My doctor said it might take a year from beginning Nardil for me to come close to remission. I wasted three of those months.

Be careful with Nardil. For me, it cannot be used with the notion that you can take as much as you can tolerate the side effects. My intuitive guess is that the brain needs to do some of the work. Otherwise, the signal-to-noise ratio might decrease, and the response lost. Who knows?

Treatment response:

The best way I can describe my experience is to use The Wizard of Oz as a metaphor. Of course, the movie starts out in black-and-white. Everything is a drab and dirty gray. The farm is depressing. Ominous clouds fill the sky and a tornado drops down to the ground in the distance. Without warning, the house is hit by the tornado and is carried upwards into the sky. When the house finally lands abruptly, Dorothy grabs her dog, Toto, and heads for the black-and-white front door. When she opens it, the world explodes in Technicolor.

That's the way it has always been with me, especially when I would respond to a tricyclic for three consecutive days two weeks after starting to take it. That was my pattern early in my treatment history.

> > Hi, Lambage22.
> >
> > I have been away because I am feeling better. I'll come on the board soon and catch up.
> >
> > I am most impressed with your thinking and writing. Do you feel that you are progressing as a human being? It seems that way to me.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
> >
> >
> >
> >

Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.




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