Posted by brynb on June 27, 2013, at 2:37:04
I was doing well after a trial of ketamine and TMS. I seemed to be ok on Lexapro, Tramadol and Ativan and was functioning.
Last week, I o'd on a bunch of pills, and I don't know if it was self sabotage, a half-hearted attempt to kill myself or a dumb attempt to feel different, but it put me in a mega tailspin and I'm struggling again. I'm my own worst enemy, and I'm too old to be doing this to myself (an upcoming birthday had me in the dumps but I just can't justify my actions). I'm severely down, depressed, hopeless and don't know where to pick up the pieces. I need to stress that I don't drink or abuse drugs, but every few months I'll "self medicate" or take a bunch of pills to alter how I feel. I know better than this.
I know I can't take any meds/ drugs other than what's prescribed and as prescribed, which is my intention, but at this point, do I finally try Nardil? I think therapy might help too. Even though I was "ok" before this happened, I still had severe anhedonia and have withdrawn from any kind of social life.
Any suggestions? I feel pretty desperate.
Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air. - Ralph Waldo Emerson